personals™

Filters for Relationships

One thing most people forget is sometimes it is not what you say so much as what other people hear.  Perception is reality, and this is never more true than in a relationship.  Start paying attention to the words you use, and how they will be perceived.  Communication is key, and if you have heard something and taken it badly, you might want to re-word before you say what you do not want heard.

For example

You say: I am not ready for a serious relationship.

They Hear: With you.

Express this to a deeper level if this is not what you mean.  People you are in a relationship with are in a heightened level of emotion, and possibly a bit paranoid from this.  Give the sentence more, try: I am not ready for a serious relationship quite yet, I do not want to stop seeing you, just give me a little more time before we make the next step.  Give them something else to finish the sentence with besides the natural doom thought. 

You say: I need some alone time.

They hear: I need time away from you and this relationship.

Seeing the pattern? Most people expect to get dumped, especially while things are still progressing, give them more to work with: I need somne alone time, not alot, just some so I can breath a little and maybe process somethings.  Everyone needs this time and its ok.

Relationships are not a game of Ad-libs, if you want to succeed in it, you can not allow the person to fill in the blanks of what you mean.  Tell them and let the questions remain at ‘where would you like to have dinner’, not ‘do they care’.

Comments are closed.

Our New Home
Warning: main() [function.main]: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 404 Not Found in /usr/local/psa/home/vhosts/fabulouspersonals.com/subdomains/dating/httpdocs/wp-content/themes/digg-3-columns-10/footer.php on line 14

Warning: main(http://www.fabulouspersonals.com/assets/footerext3.php) [function.main]: failed to open stream: Invalid argument in /usr/local/psa/home/vhosts/fabulouspersonals.com/subdomains/dating/httpdocs/wp-content/themes/digg-3-columns-10/footer.php on line 14

Warning: main() [function.include]: Failed opening 'http://www.fabulouspersonals.com/assets/footerext3.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/psa/apache/share/pear') in /usr/local/psa/home/vhosts/fabulouspersonals.com/subdomains/dating/httpdocs/wp-content/themes/digg-3-columns-10/footer.php on line 14